In empty moments, quiet moments, my mind wanders off to you. I envision what could be when we meet again and you end up loving me in return. The conversations we would have, the life we would live, the places we will see, and the adventures we will share, together, side by side, constant and unfaltering.
I think of you everytime I hear Coldplay’s Amazing Day. I hope you like the song as I see us slow dancing to it in evenings at our garden, lit all over by fairy lights hung on out trees. I hear the song playing softly in the background as we curl up in a cabin, up in snowy mountains while waiting for the Aurora Borealis to bless us with her magnificence.
I love you, my heart yearns for you. I long to see you again and stare into your hazel eyes, see if the pupils will once again pulse when you look back at me. I love you so much that it terrifies me, scares me enough to think that I should stop loving you because there is no guarantee of you ever feeling the same way. You don’t know how much I feel for you and I’m terrified that if you do find out, you decide that I am someone you could never love in return.
But tonight I realized, as I listen to Amazing Day, that love must be freeing. That I am free to love you, and my love for you should not be in pursuit of possession, but only of liberation. It is not really love if I can only love you when there is a guarantee. It is not love if it must adhere to a strict timeframe that is not designed by God.
And so, I decided to keep loving you, keep waiting on you, despite my fears, despite my doubts, for those who live in love evenually discover that love has returned to them in a multitude of ways .
I will live in love, and in hope, for you and for what could be.