I was eighteen, unsure of myself yet full of dreams.
Facebook, in its new self-imposed role as time capsule, reminded me that exactly four years ago, I wrote this in my diary:
For a while now I’ve been longing to go to places far away. Far enough away that the colors of people’s eyes form a myriad of hues. From seeing only brown to more grays, blues, greens, and other magical colors that the irises can embody.
I long to be in places where people speak a different language. Different enough to cause confusion and delineation, but fascination as well whenever words that sound similar to my native English and Tagalog come up in a conversation.
I want to be in a place where the air is distinct. Where scents of cinnamon, turmeric, cardamom, garlic, and lavender hang strongly in the air, slowly weaving itself to the fibers of one’s clothing and the strands of one’s hair.
I long to be in a place where people play instruments I have never seen before. I want to hear the sounds they make as expert locals make music out of them. I want to learn songs and stories that express the story of a local hero, the love of a foreign man, different versions of creation, monsters, fairies, witches, and the various exemplifications of good’s triumph over evil.
However, this is not yet meant to come to pass. My own country is full of unique backgrounds, histories, stories, songs, mountains, and beaches that I have yet to experience. I must immerse myself in them before I run off to a foreign land. I must first collect stories, knowledge, and bravery from my beautiful country so I may boast of it convincingly to blue-eyed strangers I have yet to meet.
Patience is key. Patience is also preparation, in so many ways than we think.
I always new that I am meant to see the world. I didn’t know how yet at the time I wrote this entry, but I for sure knew that one day, I’ll get to pack my bags and explore the world a little bit at a time.
As I have written here before, Paulo Coelho is right: and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.